Bullying just got easier with technology, really. The anonymity behind the screen turns normal people into “keyboard warriors”, and these confrontational tendencies have led to a cyberbullying problem.
What do we know about cyberbullying? It’s commonly defined as the use of digital communication to harass, intimidate, or harm others through offensive messages, spreading rumours, impersonation, sharing secrets, exclusion, and persistent threats.
In obvious cases of cyberbullying, there is malicious intent: the intent to hurt, scare, or degrade another person. But is it possible to be an accidental cyberbully? Are the things we do and say online unintentionally hurting others?
Let’s take a moment to evaluate our online behaviour. Take this quiz to find out if you are an accidental cyberbully.
Q1. Someone shares a post about something you do not like. You read and:
A) Move on to the next post. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion.
B) Send it to a friend with a joke about it.
C) Leave a sarcastic comment because you see the need to voice your disapproval.
Q2. How do you react to someone’s typo in a post?
A) Ignore it. Everyone makes mistakes.
B) Point it out with a funny gif.
C) Create a post correcting them publicly (because everyone ought to know the right spelling) and tag them.
Q3. A friend excitedly posts about a new hobby, which to you is boring. You:
A) Like the post to be supportive.
B) Speak your mind and comment, “So boring… You can do better than that!”
C) Make a meme about how boring it is (because you can’t believe how anyone can think this is interesting) and share it.
Q4. Someone shares their achievement, but you’re not impressed. You:
A) Congratulate them.
B) Respond with, “Is that really a big deal? I did that ages ago.”
C) Comment something sarcastic like, “Wow, slow clap. LOL.”
Q5. A friend uploads a picture with an unflattering angle. You:
A) Compliment them anyway.
B) Comment, “Lovin’ that double chin!”
C) Share it in your group chat with a laughing emoji.
Q6. You see a heated argument online. You:
A) Stay out of it.
B) Add a comment to stir the pot—just because it is fun!
C) Pick a side and attack the other person’s grammar.
Q7. A friend shares a personal story. You:
A) Offer supportive comments.
B) Make a light-hearted joke about their story just to engage.
C) Jokingly say, “I’ve heard better stories.”
Q8. Your friend posts a photo of a new outfit. You:
A) Compliment their style (if you like it). Or scroll past it and not engage (if you don’t).
B) Comment honestly, “Not your best look.”
C) Photoshop it to look silly and send it back to them.
Q9. When someone disagrees with you online, you:
A) Respect their opinion and invite them to engage in a friendly discussion.
B) Use a meme to ridicule their viewpoint.
C) Block them (because you’re annoyed) and tell everyone about it.
Q10. Someone you don’t remember knowing sends you a friend request. You:
A) Ignore or decline it (to protect yourself).
B) Respond to the invite and say, “Hello, are you here to scam me?”
C) Screengrab that person’s invite and share it in your stories mocking their appearance, username, and other details on their profile.
Results
Mostly (A)s: Kind Online Citizen
Congratulations, you are the heart of our community. You demonstrate considerate and supportive behaviour online, respecting others’ opinions and knowing when to step away. Your positive attitude and empathy contribute to a healthier online environment.
Mostly (B)s: Cheeky Banterer
You have a playful sense of humour. But be mindful not to unintentionally hurt others’ feelings. It might be okay to engage in some silly banter once in a while, particularly with friends who you think know you well. However, you can never truly know how others, even those close to you, might perceive your words and actions, especially in the digital space where facial expressions, voice intonations, and other behavioural cues are absent, and your intentions can be easily misrepresented.
Mostly (C)s: Accidental Cyberbully
Oh dear. It appears that sometimes your humour may cross the line into potentially hurtful territory. Even in jest, your actions have consequences. What may seem harmless to you can deeply wound others, and the damage can be deep and lasting. Always consider the impact of your words. Kindness and empathy should guide your online interactions, just as they do offline.
Understanding the Intentions of an Unintentional Cyberbully
If you find yourself in the “Accidental Cyberbully” category, it is important to understand how your intentions, though innocent, might lead to unintentional harm. Let’s explore why nice people can become accidental bullies, why they do what they do, say what they say, and yet do not realise the impact of their actions.
Just Having Fun
Sometimes, we take our jokes too far. We may have thought it was all in good fun. But the person on the receiving end interpreted it differently and took it seriously.
Acting Out of Anger
It could be something we saw online that upset us or a hateful message we received that sent our emotions through the roof. And in the heat of the moment, without thinking twice, we respond angrily or hurtfully.
Learnt Behaviour
Surprise! People who are victims can also be bullies. We are not talking about the vengeful ones who have been victims of bullying and plan to get even. But rather those who adopt the mean tactics they have experienced because they think it is an acceptable way to interact online.
Pretending to be Tough
Peer pressure is real. We want to look tough and act tough to fit in. We might even say mean things, not with the intention to hurt but to protect ourselves from becoming targets of cyberbullying.
Let’s Put an End to Accidental Cyberbullying
The key to stopping accidental cyberbullying begins with self-awareness and empathy.
Stop, Think, Empathise & Reflect
Before sharing any content, take a moment to consider how it may impact others by walking a mile in their shoes. Remember, humour and sarcasm can easily be misinterpreted online.
Choose Your Words Wisely
Sometimes, it’s not just what we say but how we say it that makes all the difference. Be mindful of the words you choose, ensuring they are respectful and considerate. Avoid making derogatory or hurtful comments, even if you believe they are harmless.
Seek Permission to Share & Tag
If you want to share someone else’s photos or personal information online, always ask for their permission first. Similarly, before tagging people in posts or photos, ensure they are comfortable with it. Respecting others’ boundaries can prevent unintended harm.
Be Cautious with Likes & Shares
It may seem insignificant, but a simple click of a button can turn someone’s world upside down. Before liking or forwarding any content, take the time to read and understand it fully. Ensure it is not offensive or hurtful towards others. By being vigilant, you can avoid unintentionally promoting cyberbullying.
Speak Up
Lastly, and most importantly, if you witness accidental bullying, let the person responsible know that their actions may have hurt someone else. We can foster a culture of respect and empathy online by holding each other accountable for our behaviour.
Remember, bullying is still bullying, intentional or not. We might have been accidental cyberbullies at some point in our lives, but it is never too late to change our actions. Together, let’s strive to create a safer and kinder digital environment for everyone.