Explore how striving for “perfect” grades, CVs, and social media profiles can impact student mental health. Discover ways to break free of perfectionism and focus on growth.
□ You stare down at your 90% score and beat yourself up for not achieving 100%.
□ A task meant to take 10 minutes stretches to an hour because you keep checking it over and over again.
□ Even the smallest tasks can keep you up at night or make you skip meals just to “perfect” them.
□ You rewrite essays, emails, or text messages—often more times than necessary.
□ You agonise over crafting a simple social media post, overthinking every possible reaction from peers and followers.
□ A group project feels unbearable because you expect everyone to match your pace, and you often feel compelled to check or redo their work.
□ You get that sinking feeling when scrolling through LinkedIn and seeing peers list internships at seeming more prestigious companies than yours.
□ Even when someone praises your work, instead of saying thank you and enjoying the moment, you immediately point out the flaws and what could have been better.
Sound familiar? You’re not alone. According to a 2020 Vitale & Company report, 92% of people are affected by perfectionism.
High Standards or Fear and Ego?
You might tell yourself, “Well, I’m a perfectionist, but it’s because I have high standards.” But here’s the thing: perfectionism is often less about standards and more about fear and your ego.
You rely on validation to feel worthy and constantly fear not being good enough. You also worry about being judged and failing. That’s why you avoid trying new things that might make you look bad and steer clear of situations you can’t control—anything that could tarnish your “high performer” image.
To protect your pride, you reject opportunities to explore, be creative, or truly listen to your own needs. As a result, life becomes this exhausting cycle of having to prove yourself over and over again.
The Pressure To Be Perfect
Perfectionism is a learned behaviour, often stemming from societal pressures or early experiences that tie praise to achievements and treat mistakes as failures.
For students, perfect grades feel like a ticket to “making it” in the real world. And in that world, the chase continues, as you try to build the perfect CV to be employable, desirable, and recognised.
Then there’s social media, where everyone seems to be living their best life. You compare your own experience with the stories and reels others post. And before you know it, likes, followers, job titles, and countable achievements start to define your self-worth.
Learning Lost, Experiences Sacrificed
When you ace a test, do you celebrate the score or the learning that got you there? Sadly, most of us get hung up on the score, letting even a small difference feel like a big deal—especially in a system that turns numbers into levels and rankings. (If 70 is a C and 69 is a D, of course you’d be relieved for gaining that one extra point!) And that’s when real learning, the whole point of studying and actually understanding the subject, gets thrown out the window.
When all your energy goes into perfecting grades, building your career, and racking up achievements, it’s easy to miss out on things that can help you grow—such as making friends, exploring hobbies, getting involved in clubs, or simply having fun and figuring out what truly makes you happy. Not to mention, taking a gap year, which would have been unthinkable for many overachievers. Yet these imperfect experiences are often the ones we learn the most from.
The Vicious Cycle of “Arrival”
“But I’ll only be happy once I achieve this! Success will make me happy.” Will it, though? Maybe learning about arrival fallacy and hedonic adaptation, two well-documented psychological concepts, will make you reconsider.
Arrival fallacy is the false belief that happiness finally “arrives” when you achieve a goal—whether it’s a top grade, a dream internship, or winning a competition. Hedonic adaptation explains why that happiness fades faster than expected, as you quickly adjust to the new normal, the same emptiness creep back in, and you find yourself desperately chasing the next milestone to fill the void.
Mental Health Costs
This endless chase doesn’t just steal your time and energy; it also takes a toll on your mind and body. Perfectionism is known to link to burnout, anxiety, low self-esteem, depression, obsessive-compulsive tendencies, insomnia, and even eating disorders.
Constantly measuring yourself against impossible standards leaves you feeling inadequate, no matter how much you achieve. Over time, you might even develop imposter syndrome, the nagging thought that perhaps you just got lucky and aren’t as capable as others think.
Because you’re terrified of making mistakes, even a small failure can feel crushing. This relentless focus on achievement has left you little or no room for genuine connection, and when you do consider in confiding in someone, you’re torn between keeping up that flawless image and showing vulnerability.
Society doesn’t make it easier. Achievements are rewarded and perfectionistic behaviour is often admired, masking the anxiety, self-criticism, and burnout beneath. It’s a slow erosion of the well-being until what once felt “manageable” isn’t anymore.
How Do You Break Free of Perfectionism?
You don’t have to lower your standards; you just need to set realistic ones that account for life’s ups and downs.
Start by asking yourself why you’re chasing a goal. Is it because it excites you, or because you’re worried about how others will see you? Find reasons that go beyond external rewards like grades, promotions, and accolades. For example, explore a topic because you are genuinely curious, not because it looks impressive on your CV. Share a thought in class because you truly want to contribute, not to prove you know more than others.
Value progress over perfection. Celebrate small wins, like improving a skill or solving a problem you couldn’t before. Drop the all-or-nothing mindset and accept that mistakes are part of the learning journey.
Ever heard of Amazon founder Jeff Bezos’ 70% rule? He believes that with 70% of the necessary information, you technically have enough to make a clear, precise decision. If Bezos can operate with 70%, so can you—especially if you struggle with moving forward because of that paralysing need to be “flawless.”
Finally, don’t underestimate the power of talking it out. Share your worries with a friend, family member, or therapist. You don’t have to carry all that pressure alone.
Need more assurance that it’s okay to let go of perfectionism? Here’s a reminder from JK Rowling’s 2008 Harvard commencement speech: “Your qualifications, your CV, are not your life.” Even she would tell her 21-year-old self that personal happiness comes from knowing life isn’t a checklist of achievements.
The more you practise this, the more you’ll realise that your worth isn’t tied to numbers and applause; it’s rooted in becoming someone you’re proud of.